


Self-Esteem

by johnnyzbabe



Category: Backstreet Boys, NSYNC
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-04 07:10:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4129284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnnyzbabe/pseuds/johnnyzbabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: JC walks away from a low self-esteemed Kevin. Kevin tries to build back his confidence in order to gain his love back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Self-Esteem

It was another night of JC trying to build up Kevin’s self-esteem. Ever since the Backstreet Boys had taken their hiatus Kevin was unable to do anything that he was good at. He would throw monumental fits about Nick’s solo project, AJ and his perplexity for bad publicity; of course he had to throw insult to injury by throwing in Brian with the new baby. Of course Howie was Mr. Perfect in Kevin’s eyes. That was really the straw that broke the camel’s back. JC felt inferior to Howie and the way Kevin portrays Howie. 

 

“Kevin do you hear yourself. You sound like a broken record. All you do anymore besides writing songs is complain about three of your band mates. One of them being your very own cousin and putting Howie on a fucking pedestal.” Josh tried to get Kevin to stop his rant.

 

“Don’t you see I’m nothing? I even did Broadway, boycotted with the musicians and all everybody is saying is Nick this, AJ that, or Brian and the baby. Nothing about me or what I’ve been doing. NO nothing about how I’m the one that has to sit through all the endless meetings to see if we even have a chance to do a new album or if we have to actually hang up our hats as Backstreet.” Kevin slumped down in his chair. All his energy wasted.

 

“Kevin, I love you but I just can’t seem to be enough anymore. At first we were happy but now I’m more depressed then when I was alone. I also can’t compete with the perfection that is Howie. I think you need to have a long talk with him and discuss the hero worship you have going.” Josh got up and headed to their room to pack a bag. He knew that if he tried to stay in this house another day he would go insane.

 

Between trying to get his own solo career going, being stubbed by the media for his efforts only because Justin and Nick’s were successful and happened to be in the same group as one and with Kevin’s mood swings, he didn’t think he could handle it anymore. At first he was fine when Kevin would start yelling or throwing things because it wasn’t aimed at him but when the attacks started to get personal Josh knew he should leave but he couldn’t. He wanted to be there for the man he loved and hopefully would marry one day. If Brian could marry Eminem (Marshall Mathers-Littrell) and have a child why couldn’t Josh doi the same?

 

“Josh what are you doing?” Kevin asked quietly

 

”I’m packing. What does it look like?” Josh quipped back.

 

“Um, I guess packing. But, why?” Kevin asks

 

“Because I can’t take it anymore Kevin. All you do is rant about the Boys, write songs till you hand cramps up, and I can’t compete with the image you have of Howie.” Josh threw clothes in the suitcase not really caring how it looks. He brushes past Kevin to get his toiletries from the bathroom and shoves them into his travel shaving kit. He was trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill over at any moment.

 

“Josh…” That was all Kevin said before he walked out of the room in defeat. He knew he lost his one true love and probably forever. All Kevin did while Josh was busy packing was sulk about his office. He couldn’t think to get any thing accomplished all he thought about was that he wasn’t good enough to keep his true love.

 

3 months later:

It has been three months since Josh left Kevin. Neither man would admit how much it hurt the other or himself that they weren’t complete without the other. Josh couldn’t concentrate longer than a minute on his music which was his passion outside of Kevin. He always thought that one day he would marry Kevin and have a family.

 

“Yo, C…whatz up dawg?” Justin inquired. This broke Josh out of his daze.

 

“Huh?” 

 

”Real literate aren’t we today.” Justin joked

 

“Sorry, I guess I must have been thinking.” Josh replied. His voiced relayed the emotions he felt like now when he felt depressed and wanted nothing more than to just curl up somewhere and cry.

 

“I wouldn’t think too hard you could break a blood vessel or something.” Justin smiled. All he got in response was a small strained smile. “Dude, you’ve holed yourself in your room since you left Kevin. Now what gives? What did the bastard do?”

 

“I guess it wasn’t something he did so much as sees what was done to him. He seems to think he isn’t good enough to do anything. He either bitches or moans about the rest of Backstreet with Howie being the saint or he writes till his hand cramps up.” Josh explained. “I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. That has been going on ever since we got done with the tour and went on our hiatus. I can only guess it was happening long before that. He doesn’t talk to me anymore. All he does is yells or is quiet. So quiet that you could hear a pin drop and it would sound like a gun going off.”

 

“Hmm…really? I’ll talk to him and see what I can do.” Justin secretly thought this was for the better. Not that he hated Kevin but there was just something about Kevin that irked Justin.

 

1 Year later…

Kevin was still not talking. The only time he opened his mouth was when it was his turn to sing. He just couldn’t find the enthusiasm he used to have when it came to performing. Even when he worked at Disney he always enjoyed performing. 

 

It scarred how much he was missing when Brian told him that Marshall was pregnant again. He was going to be a cousin. He also was comatose when he was at AJ’s wedding to Nick. He also didn’t know that Nick was pregnant at the time. What with most of the media attention on his somewhat less than stellar solo career he didn’t even know that they were engaged much less were dating?

 

At occasional industry related functions the two former lovers would run into each other. Kevin did notice that he always showed up either with the rest of N*Sync or alone. Much like Kevin did. That did bring a small smile to this lips knowing that Josh could be suffering just as much as him but at the same time it was a depressing thought.

 

 

In a corner

“Howie,” Justin acknowledge

“Justin,” Howie acknowledge back in the same manner.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you about JC,” Justin was a pretty straight forward kinda guy

“Oh, and what about, JC?” Howie was mildly curious

“It seems that since they broke it off he has gone into a depression. Can’t even record or write anything. He’s not even on autopilot. He was worse off than I was when I broke up with Bret.” Justin was worried for his friend, band mate, and brother.

“Kevin has been on nothing but auto since the break. We can’t even mention N'SYNC or he goes off let alone actually saying JC or Josh in his presence.” Howie knew that he was safe in telling this to Justin. It did help that they had been having a year long affair. Neither quite ready to commit.

“I think we need to do some damage control and get those two back together. I know I’ve never like Kevin that much but he is good for JC.” Justin acknowledged

“Yeah, but how? I can’t just go up and say ‘have you talked to Nsync or Josh’, he will go off. I really don’t want to be embarrassed or embarrass him.” Howie truly didn’t want to witness another one of Kevin’s explosion. 

“I don’t quite know yet. Maybe we could get the rest of your boys along with mine and see what six men can do for their two friends.” With that it was decided. All six boy-banders were going to war in Operation Save Kevin and JC.

 

3 years:

“We are gathered here to witness the joining of two souls into one…” The priest started “Do you Kevin Scott take this man Joshua Scott to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and hold from this day forth, in sickness and in health, till death shall do you part?” The priest as well as the congregation waited. It was a long and bumpy road to get to this day.

 

“I do.” Kevin announced. Josh smiled

 

“Do you, Joshua Scott take this man, Kevin Scott…,”The priest asked of Josh

 

“I do.” Cheers could be heard from the congregation. 

 

“I now pronounce you married. You may kiss the groom” The priest proclaimed to all those in attendance. Kevin briefly sent a silent thank you prayer to his father, Jerald, up in heaven. His other father, Andrew, was weeping as he watched his youngest get married.

 

Epilogue (2009):  
”Daddy, I walk.” exclaimed the happy toddler. Jerald Scott Richardson was born on August 10, 2006 to two very happy parents.

“I see. Walk to poppa, “Josh instructed as little Jerald waddled towards his daddy, Kevin. Kevin was crouched down with arms opened wide with tears in his eyes watching. 

 

Kevin had since gone to counseling along with Backstreet and Nsync in order for him to gain a better understanding of his own self and to build his confidence back up. The members of both groups had joked that ‘Hitler’ was back.

 

Since their wedding Kevin and Josh Richardson have attended the ceremonies to Joey/Chris, Lance/Q, and most recently Howie/Justin made it official just a month ago. Joey and Chris had a little boy and named him Brian, Lance is currently pregnant and Justin/Howie had a boy four years ago and named him Randall Hoke Dorough-Timberlake, the reason behind the hyphenated name was that if they never got married Randy still had a piece of his parents with him at all times.

 

Life for Backstreet had retired in late 2005 with the last album released entitled, “End of The Road” while Nsync never officially retired they had called it quits as a group earlier that year.

 

Nick and Alex had moved out to California where Alex is a successful songwriter/producer and Nick runs his own management company. Their son was born in April of 2003. He has since taken to his father’s former profession. His solo CD debuted at number one all over the world. James Aaron Carter-McLean is a household name.

 

Lance still has his production company A Happy Place and has since made several top ranking movies. He has received numerous awards for his productions including an Oscar. Q, has appeared in several of them.

 

Brian and Marshall have nothing to do with the industry both just content to raise their two sons. Baylee and Ben are both straight A students and enjoy acting over performing music.

 

Joey and Chris have been laying low for a while. During which time then concentrated on their only child Brien Fatone. Joey did a few Broadway performances while Chris worked on his clothing line FuManSkeeto.

 

Kevin and Josh are both fully retired having nothing to do with fame but more to do with raising their son and trying for more.

 

Howie and Justin both do major charity work as well as trying to help new artists. Justin does some songwriting while Howie does a little producing. Both with the help of Nick manage a couple of artists each.


End file.
